A few months into it, I was embarrassed by the chair and thought I’d be lucky if someone would deal with my disability.But by the end, I was reminded that a real man would be lucky — and proud —to be with me, chair or no chair. I eventually tried making it obvious in my profile picture.But none of these strategies made a difference: The end result, more often than not, was terrible.” “So I assume you’re not looking to fuck.” After about 10 more comments like that, I took down the photos of me in my chair.This opened me up to normal Tinder messaging banter again, but I always wanted these guys to know as soon as possible so that I wouldn’t feel like I was lying by omission. ” I was unbelievably offended — until it happened again. The men on Tinder apparently thought this was an okay thing to say to a woman. One guy was cool at first, and asked me more about myself and the nature of my injury before quickly changing the conversation to, “So wait, does that mean you can’t feel anal?Since my matches didn’t know about my wheelchair, I knew I’d have to explicitly tell them at some point, so I tried a few different tactics.
Thanks to my fairly resilient nature, I otherwise live a normal life, and have moved myself across the country twice.Maybe I went into my Tinder experience a little too optimistic and confident.I have a career, a good education, an outgoing personality, and I love to travel.After a year on the app, I was about to pull the plug once and for all before I matched with a cute engineer, who had a great beard and a love of beer.
It took a month of messaging for me to even agree to a date, and when I told him about the wheelchair and asked if it would be a problem, he said the most romantic thing I could have hoped to hear on Tinder at that point: “Why would it?
Even if I had great messaging chemistry with a guy, I would instantly go from being the “sexy redhead” he’s planning to go out with to the “girl in a wheelchair" — and that chair would define me.